INVITATIONS ARE EXPENSIVE!

Like, omg, it's just paper.
I'd be better off hand writing a butt load of invitations after learning caligraphy and memorizing everyone's address. Jesus.
However, I discovered VistaPrint is way cheaper than Shutterfly. I'll take it.
I'm sleepy. I gotta go to bed and dream some weird crap. Night!

Wedding Nightmare #3 or 4....I've lost track.

It was the day of or the day before my wedding. I was....somewhere...hotely. Nobody else was anywhere so apparently we didn't have a big turnout. I suddenly realized that I never got a dress and that my nails looks just like they look right now.  No.

I found a spa in this place I was and set up an appointment to get myself straightened out and polished. I asked if they had any fancy dresses around that I could wear. They had this light lavender dress that was kind of retro but fancy. It had little sparklies on it and little pearls and stuff. It was calf length, very Leave It to Beaver shaped and had matching lavender shoes.

I remember thinking that it was a nice dress but not really what I had in mind. It looked kinda nice on me and kinda gross. My legs must have been skinnier than in reality because I remember liking the shoes.
Pretty sure we're not going with lavender for the wedding but....you never know. Maybe I'll forget all about needing a dress and have to take what I can find.

Kicking over the table

So we're changing everything. We're both looking forward to it a little more now that it's actually going to be easier. It seems more like a real wedding instead of a sorta wedding.

It will be simpler but fancy. I think we'll like it. It hurts to cut the guest list but in the end it's likely nobody will remember. What else can I do? Nada.

Details will come later. Feel free to ask if you want to know.
And here's my a-hole request as the star spaz of the day- If it is your heart's deepest desire to attend our wedding and you live far away or I haven't seen you in a long time please do make sure I know. We are trying to invite as many people as we can but we can't invite everyone we want to. If I'm not able to invite someone who has told me they want to come I at least want to be able to tell them they aren't being forgotten.
It's not PC and all that shit but....everybody will get over it eh.

I feel like I never shut up about it but it's on my brain a LOT, and far more often than I'd like. 

There's the people who WANT to come, those who want to but can't, there's people who feel obligated to come, there's people who would come if it worked out, there's people who will come unless they're on their deathbed, and then those who don't care for weddings all that much to begin with. 

We want to see the ones who want to be there, for whatever reason. If someone doesn't want to or is unable to come that's ok. I assume folks feel the same way about invites but who knows. I've gotten invites from people I never expected (and several I never replied to, which I'm a jerk for but I was young and forgetful) and I didn't get invites from people I assumed I would. I never really cared about weddings but I feel like I'm supporting someone if I'm there. Not that I'm NOT supporting them if I'm NOT there... Though that may have been the case, maybe not. I dunno. I over think it because it's a weird time. Weird ordeal. I wish it could be different actually but there are rules and junk. Anyway... Fresh start kinda. Yay!

Wedding Nightmares

I had the first one a month or so ago.
I was at some kind of work party thing. There was food and people. But then there was non-work people and more kept showing up.
I finally realized that everyone was showing up to what THEY thought was my wedding. Sure there were chairs and food but it was in what looked like a hotel lobby and, you know, I didn't know it was happening so I wasn't quite prepared. I kept telling people it wasn't the wedding but they kept handing me presents and everyone was all joyous and crap.
Someone standing behind me was shaking a can of soda, which they then opened and sprayed all over the back of my head. I freaked out about my hair and tried to remedy the situation.
Some officiant type guy, who I'd never met, was prepared to start a ceremony. I was trying to go along with it but finally told everyone that this was NOT what I had in mind and that this was not supposed to be my wedding and if they didn't hold off I was going to go Bridezilla on them.

Last night's dream was more annoying.
The place was nice, the food was there, but I didn't have the right clothes. I was wearing some giant lace abomination and I looked like this guy from Haunted Honeymoon.

It was horrifying. I was wearing old tennis shoes. I kept trying to find something else to wear but I couldn't find anything. I couldn't find my dad at one point so we couldn't start & everything in general was wrong. 

I don't have much worry about most of these things. 

The food will show up and people will arrive on the right day.
My biggest current worry is that I will look like a very fancy manatee in a neat dress that I can't return. Thanks for keeping my fears alive and well sleeping brain!

Learning from others

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lindsay-pattoncarson/i-regret-having-a-wedding_b_5929642.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Ignoring the snarky article comments, as always, this holds a few bits of useful stuff. Yes, she may be a bit whiney and overthinking the situation aaand needs to let it go already but I guess the important thing is that she shows how things can change and what should actually be important. Even though she hasn't figured it out.

My wedding will be nothing like her wedding—partly because I don't care about matching dresses,, and partly because I'm not like this lady. I don't have a group of girlies that I MUST include to avoid any hurt feelings. I'm not going to leave things to other people that I don't trust to finish something.

If I had someone who didn't feel comfortable coming to a strip club for a bachelorette party (which I'm not having) then ok...move along. Have a two-part party with dinner and shenanigans. But also, if you have friends who aren't willing to play along for an hour then why have them in your wedding? It's not much of a sacrifice in either direction for someone to compromise. Geez.

So, the point of this is that I'm not going to allow silly shit to make me regret I had a wedding! Even if things went wrong it surely wouldn't be enough to make me regret the whole thing. Really?

We will have food and friends and hopefully some fancy clothes and entertainment. If that's not enough for anyone else then they are forgiven for not attending but it'll be enough for us.

Here's another interesting list of things to consider before the day:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/13/wedding-advice_n_5979840.html

Here's the short version. With my additions...

1. Take time to appreciate your surroundings.

Luckily, I'm getting married at a place I get to go to all the time so at least I get to soak it up beyond that one day.

2. Focus on what really matters.
Me, Jason, Cake.

3. Your wedding day is fun, but marriage is even better.
I guess we'll find out??

4. Keep the drinks to a minimum.
I won't be drinking so...we'll see what we can do with the rest of the wedding party.

5. No matter how much planning you do, something is bound to go wrong.
I plan for that as well. I'm good at avoiding problems; hope my luck holds up.

6. The most important person at your wedding is your future spouse.
Yep!

7. Accept that the person you marry today, may change in 20 years.
Certainly, he'll have more dragons on him then.

8. It's your day, so feel free to delegate.
Will do. Or rather....someone else will. 

9. Be aware that it goes by way too fast.

Not looking forward to that part but we'll make it last as long as we can.  

This may sound cynical but that's not the intention. It's a positive declaration.

It occurs to me on occasion that my wedding is....MY wedding. OUR wedding.

I don't invite my friends to dinner every night and make sure I have something they like because A) I can't afford it, B) it might be kind of weird after a while, C) Maybe I want stuff I like. Right?
Our wedding shouldn't really be so much different. It should be the party we want to throw, that we can throw.
I don't really need to invite people just for the gesture. If they wanted to see me then they could come see me any time. At least for those far away types. Local folks...if I only see them at my wedding and rarely any other times, well then...how'd they get on the list anyway?
I have many friends who I don't see much. But we still communicate, we are still in touch, we still WANT to see each other but life gets in the way. It's ok. I don't hold it against people anymore. Some people put in more effort than others. Some people will always ask "how's the wedding planning going?" They're interested even if we don't sit down for coffee every week. I get it. This is how it goes with these things.
But do I want to feel obligated to invite people who will feel obligated to come? I don't want anybody to come just for the heck of it. That describes the reason I've attended most weddings I've ever been to, actually. And they were fun and I'm usually glad I went. Though I never get to see the person getting married because I'm not close enough with them to really care, or they have higher priority guests. I take it zero percent personally. They were kind enough to extend an invitation that I was happy to accept. Period.

I may have to amend my thinking for this party. On the one hand, we want it to be a big fun to-do because we'll do this once. On the other hand, we could/would/should? have as much fun with a small group and get together with other people at later times because then we can actually spend TIME with them.
I very much want some of my oldest, dearest, and far awayest friends to come to my wedding. But will I spend more than 10 minutes with them before they have to go? I have no idea.
Time is becoming a more important factor as I get older because I enjoy my time with certain people a whole lot and have less tolerance for wasting time on people who could take it or leave it.
This really isn't with anyone specific in mind; it's just an overall theme of late. It easily transfers over to the planning of the wedding. One excessive extravagant (for us) party or a whole boat load of smallish gatherings to celebrate our us-ness with those who love our us-ness? When I put it that way it's kind of a no brainer.

So....I gotta pee....and then I'll sleep on this topic and see what hatches.
Tell me this: if you had the choice would you rather come join us at a lively fiesta or a more casual gathering? Both are awesome, both are fun, both have their merits. What would you choose?

Love you all. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. Maybe you can help the hatching. 

Hummingbirds

This is unrelated to anything weddingish but it's the only way I could find to share this video so Jackie could see it!

Post by James Moon.