Wedding Nightmares

I had the first one a month or so ago.
I was at some kind of work party thing. There was food and people. But then there was non-work people and more kept showing up.
I finally realized that everyone was showing up to what THEY thought was my wedding. Sure there were chairs and food but it was in what looked like a hotel lobby and, you know, I didn't know it was happening so I wasn't quite prepared. I kept telling people it wasn't the wedding but they kept handing me presents and everyone was all joyous and crap.
Someone standing behind me was shaking a can of soda, which they then opened and sprayed all over the back of my head. I freaked out about my hair and tried to remedy the situation.
Some officiant type guy, who I'd never met, was prepared to start a ceremony. I was trying to go along with it but finally told everyone that this was NOT what I had in mind and that this was not supposed to be my wedding and if they didn't hold off I was going to go Bridezilla on them.

Last night's dream was more annoying.
The place was nice, the food was there, but I didn't have the right clothes. I was wearing some giant lace abomination and I looked like this guy from Haunted Honeymoon.

It was horrifying. I was wearing old tennis shoes. I kept trying to find something else to wear but I couldn't find anything. I couldn't find my dad at one point so we couldn't start & everything in general was wrong. 

I don't have much worry about most of these things. 

The food will show up and people will arrive on the right day.
My biggest current worry is that I will look like a very fancy manatee in a neat dress that I can't return. Thanks for keeping my fears alive and well sleeping brain!

Learning from others

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lindsay-pattoncarson/i-regret-having-a-wedding_b_5929642.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Ignoring the snarky article comments, as always, this holds a few bits of useful stuff. Yes, she may be a bit whiney and overthinking the situation aaand needs to let it go already but I guess the important thing is that she shows how things can change and what should actually be important. Even though she hasn't figured it out.

My wedding will be nothing like her wedding—partly because I don't care about matching dresses,, and partly because I'm not like this lady. I don't have a group of girlies that I MUST include to avoid any hurt feelings. I'm not going to leave things to other people that I don't trust to finish something.

If I had someone who didn't feel comfortable coming to a strip club for a bachelorette party (which I'm not having) then ok...move along. Have a two-part party with dinner and shenanigans. But also, if you have friends who aren't willing to play along for an hour then why have them in your wedding? It's not much of a sacrifice in either direction for someone to compromise. Geez.

So, the point of this is that I'm not going to allow silly shit to make me regret I had a wedding! Even if things went wrong it surely wouldn't be enough to make me regret the whole thing. Really?

We will have food and friends and hopefully some fancy clothes and entertainment. If that's not enough for anyone else then they are forgiven for not attending but it'll be enough for us.

Here's another interesting list of things to consider before the day:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/13/wedding-advice_n_5979840.html

Here's the short version. With my additions...

1. Take time to appreciate your surroundings.

Luckily, I'm getting married at a place I get to go to all the time so at least I get to soak it up beyond that one day.

2. Focus on what really matters.
Me, Jason, Cake.

3. Your wedding day is fun, but marriage is even better.
I guess we'll find out??

4. Keep the drinks to a minimum.
I won't be drinking so...we'll see what we can do with the rest of the wedding party.

5. No matter how much planning you do, something is bound to go wrong.
I plan for that as well. I'm good at avoiding problems; hope my luck holds up.

6. The most important person at your wedding is your future spouse.
Yep!

7. Accept that the person you marry today, may change in 20 years.
Certainly, he'll have more dragons on him then.

8. It's your day, so feel free to delegate.
Will do. Or rather....someone else will. 

9. Be aware that it goes by way too fast.

Not looking forward to that part but we'll make it last as long as we can.  

This may sound cynical but that's not the intention. It's a positive declaration.

It occurs to me on occasion that my wedding is....MY wedding. OUR wedding.

I don't invite my friends to dinner every night and make sure I have something they like because A) I can't afford it, B) it might be kind of weird after a while, C) Maybe I want stuff I like. Right?
Our wedding shouldn't really be so much different. It should be the party we want to throw, that we can throw.
I don't really need to invite people just for the gesture. If they wanted to see me then they could come see me any time. At least for those far away types. Local folks...if I only see them at my wedding and rarely any other times, well then...how'd they get on the list anyway?
I have many friends who I don't see much. But we still communicate, we are still in touch, we still WANT to see each other but life gets in the way. It's ok. I don't hold it against people anymore. Some people put in more effort than others. Some people will always ask "how's the wedding planning going?" They're interested even if we don't sit down for coffee every week. I get it. This is how it goes with these things.
But do I want to feel obligated to invite people who will feel obligated to come? I don't want anybody to come just for the heck of it. That describes the reason I've attended most weddings I've ever been to, actually. And they were fun and I'm usually glad I went. Though I never get to see the person getting married because I'm not close enough with them to really care, or they have higher priority guests. I take it zero percent personally. They were kind enough to extend an invitation that I was happy to accept. Period.

I may have to amend my thinking for this party. On the one hand, we want it to be a big fun to-do because we'll do this once. On the other hand, we could/would/should? have as much fun with a small group and get together with other people at later times because then we can actually spend TIME with them.
I very much want some of my oldest, dearest, and far awayest friends to come to my wedding. But will I spend more than 10 minutes with them before they have to go? I have no idea.
Time is becoming a more important factor as I get older because I enjoy my time with certain people a whole lot and have less tolerance for wasting time on people who could take it or leave it.
This really isn't with anyone specific in mind; it's just an overall theme of late. It easily transfers over to the planning of the wedding. One excessive extravagant (for us) party or a whole boat load of smallish gatherings to celebrate our us-ness with those who love our us-ness? When I put it that way it's kind of a no brainer.

So....I gotta pee....and then I'll sleep on this topic and see what hatches.
Tell me this: if you had the choice would you rather come join us at a lively fiesta or a more casual gathering? Both are awesome, both are fun, both have their merits. What would you choose?

Love you all. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. Maybe you can help the hatching. 

Hummingbirds

This is unrelated to anything weddingish but it's the only way I could find to share this video so Jackie could see it!

Post by James Moon.

The "theme" and an update on the dress.

We've gone though many a theme idea. (Yes, we're having a theme wedding.) If you know us...you can imagine. Our life is practically a multiple-personality theme party.
But for now we're settled on ...........

So, fairies, pirates, and Lost Boys prepare. 

We are NOT dressing as Peter and Tinkerbell. (Our guests are very welcome to do so!)

Here's a sneak peek at the dress...kinda.

You'll just have to wait for the rest!

I found some potential shoes today. We'll see how that goes. I ordered a sample of the fabric our outfits will be made with so I'm hoping to get that soon so we can accessorize before we actually make the order. 

That's all I've got for now but the little things are coming together one at a time. 

The Guestlist

To be continued.....

The dress

Such a pain in the ass this is. I don't want a traditional dress. This is largely because I think it's insane to spend more money than my entire wardrobe is worth for a one-time-use clothing item. There's stuff you just gotta do for the occasion that you probably won't do again but still. And since when do I do things traditional anyway?

Who knew it would be so complicated. Non-traditional and plus-size and wedding just isn't something the world is prepared for, apparently. The internet is supposed to show me everything I need, but I just can't find it!
I want to look more like this....

Not so much like this. 

Complications- 

• We're going with a renaissance sort of theme, however that's not the kind of dress I want. 
• I'm above a size 12. 
• I'm not going to spend a ton of money. 
• I don't want white. At least not all white. 
• I DO want friggin' sleeves. This apparently isn't a popular option because it's rare. Everything is strapless.
• I want it fluffy but not so that I look like a cupcake. 
• I don't want puffy sleeves, flowy sleeves, excessive lace, or little pearls. 
• I'm hoping to find something I can use again.

I'm trying to keep others in mind while dress browsing since any matching to be done I guess should probably follow the lead of the dress. Right?

And now I have a headache from looking at hundreds of tiny pictures of dresses I can't wear.
I said I was going to wait to look at more until Sheena got here! Ugh. No more today!

Longmont is not for Lovers.

I assume people get married in Longmont every so often. I don't know who or where or how people can afford it, but it must happen.

According to the Huff Post, the average cost for a wedding in the US is $30,000. Manhattan wins for most expensive with an average of $86,000. AVERAGE.

Here are some other things you could spend $30,000 on if you had it lying around:
12 55" HDTVs
11 bottles of 1958 Glen Garioch Whisky
10 solar panels
9 top-secret smart phones
8 450-year-old bibles
7 nights in a beach house
6 micro home-breweries
5 goooolden riiiings
4 years of college (or so)
3 trips to Europe
2 life-sized gingerbread houses
....Are you singing the song now?
1 savings bond worth $34, 848 in 5 years

Or a party for 1 day. Eek.

Anyway, we're trying to not spend as much as it would cost to buy me a new car or pay off my student loans. Two things that I desperately need...hmmm...

So back to Longmont. There are venues here but, in my opinion, they are outrageously priced. The parks are a great option if you don't have weather to worry much about and if you don't want to have any booze.
Booze isn't a make or break thing, but...come on...it's a party.  Anywhere from $800 - $5000 with varying amenities, we're just having a hard time finding what we want. We could downsize the guest list but that seems like an option way down on the list. That's mostly my doing. I know and am related to a lot of people.
We don't need anything complicated, we just want everyone to be comfortable and have fun. Right now I'm hoping to meet someone with a really big backyard.

The engagement

I thought I should start with the nice stuff before I do a little bit of ranting.
So here's the engagement story!

First things first. Jason and I met on Sunday, March 31st, 2013 at Ziggi's on Main St. We met online and had arranged this date a little earlier. He'd forgotten that this was also Easter until the night before. His brother was coming down for Easter to do the family thing and Jason didn't want to abandon the family just to meet up with some chick, but he didn't want to change plans on the chick either. I told him it was OK; we could just meet up for coffee that morning, have the date date another day, and he could go hang with his family. So we walked and talked and that was that. We went on our real date on the next Tuesday, to China Panda and G.I. Joe in 3D. I realized actually that I'd seen him around downtown before I ever met him, but at the time I certainly didn't think "gosh, I'll probably go see G.I. Joe with that guy with all the freakin' tattoos on his face."
The first time my mother saw Jason's picture she thought she'd also seen him at the Festival on Main, which perhaps she had, but she remembered "him" wearing a t-shirt that said something about eating babies....
I asked him if he had such a shirt, he did not, so we're not really sure who she saw. (Also upon seeing his picture someone asked "Is that your boyfriend??" I said, "not yet." and my mother said "you're grounded." Things are different now.)

Mom and Jason were fast friends. They met on her birthday when he joined us for lunch and roaming around downtown, and he brought her a sunflower.
Since then we've met most of each other's families and the integration is a pretty easy one. His parents have all but adopted me and my family has been on relatively good behavior so far!

So let's skip ahead to March 30, 2014. Anniversary eve at Flavor of India...because they are closed on Mondays but he wanted to take me to my favorite place for our anniversary dinner, and we were leaving for our Colorado Springs vacation Monday anyway.
I was banished from the house all day because he had "stuff" to do. I finally met up with him at the restaurant later that night. He was a little smiley and glowy but I just thought he'd had a few beers before I got there.
He had roses at our table and showed me a man-wrapped box (meaning it was a get-the-job-done wrapping) telling me it was chocolates. I didn't know why he was telling me this but whatever. So after eating I opened my giant card- on the front it said "I can no longer picture myself without you!"

Oh but there's a note....

Ah, so that's why I needed to know!

Oh, chocolates! And a party...? I like parties...

THAT kind of party! 

Surpriiiise, it's a dragooon! It's a set actually. They fit together. Like us. :) 

And so it begins..

Or has begun already. The wedding plans.
This is as much for me/us as it is for anyone who wishes to follow the process. If I document stuff it might be easier for me to not lose track of things. Plus, I can look back later and see if I was being a Bridezilla or not. Pretty sure I can avoid it but who knows.
Feel free to leave feedback, suggestions, tips, whatever.