The dress

Such a pain in the ass this is. I don't want a traditional dress. This is largely because I think it's insane to spend more money than my entire wardrobe is worth for a one-time-use clothing item. There's stuff you just gotta do for the occasion that you probably won't do again but still. And since when do I do things traditional anyway?

Who knew it would be so complicated. Non-traditional and plus-size and wedding just isn't something the world is prepared for, apparently. The internet is supposed to show me everything I need, but I just can't find it!
I want to look more like this....

Not so much like this. 

Complications- 

• We're going with a renaissance sort of theme, however that's not the kind of dress I want. 
• I'm above a size 12. 
• I'm not going to spend a ton of money. 
• I don't want white. At least not all white. 
• I DO want friggin' sleeves. This apparently isn't a popular option because it's rare. Everything is strapless.
• I want it fluffy but not so that I look like a cupcake. 
• I don't want puffy sleeves, flowy sleeves, excessive lace, or little pearls. 
• I'm hoping to find something I can use again.

I'm trying to keep others in mind while dress browsing since any matching to be done I guess should probably follow the lead of the dress. Right?

And now I have a headache from looking at hundreds of tiny pictures of dresses I can't wear.
I said I was going to wait to look at more until Sheena got here! Ugh. No more today!